Head on
by JenLea
Summary: After the death of their first baby, Reid tries to move forward as he and Morgan prepare for the birth of their second child.
1. Chapter 1

**"Heading On"  
**

**Disclaimer: I own no one recognizable.**

Warning: Deals with the mention of child death

**A/N- Spencer Reid may be just the slightest bit OOC but I'm trying to get the hang of this fandom. This is the first of two parts. Enjoy! Please review!**

**Spencer Reid knew the chances of it happening again are astronomically low.**

**What had happened to Sadie had just been one of those things. SIDS occurs roughly 6.6 times in every 1000 live births. She was a statistical anomaly. That was it...**

**It wasn't that he didn't love her. That wasn't the case. She was the product of two people that he loved dearly and she was his baby but if he thinks of her as a statistical anomaly, somehow it doesn't hurt quite as bad. **

"**You've never cried," his partner, Derek Morgan, points out. "Throughout it all, you never cried once. Why?" **

"**Sadie made me so incredibly happy during her life that to cry over her passing seems almost disrespectful. She made us happy and knew nothing but love. We could mourn that she's not here- but I feel like we should celebrate her life." His hand snakes down and intertwines with Morgan's hand- their fingers combining. **

"**Sometimes, Pretty Boy, your logic can be a bit frightening." Morgan lightly kisses his cheek and turns the light off. "Do you think we should do it again? Penn mentioned it to me the other day. I wouldn't mind- not to replace Sadie but I still feel like something's missing." He snuggles closer. **

"**I had just that feeling. Perhaps it's the school we turned into a house- thirteen thousand square feet is a lot of room for two people." He bites down on his lip, hard enough to taste blood. "I think we should do it. Put that nursery to some use."**

"**I agree." He yawns. "Can we talk about this tomorrow?" He wraps his arm around Reid as the other man places his head on his chest. **

**As certain as he is, Reid isn't prepared for the fear that the next few months bring. **

**Everything that happens to Garcia seems just a little more abnormal than it did with her first pregnancy. Did she really have 5 months of morning sickness? Does it mean anything if it's gone by her third month? Will the cravings for extra-hot buffalo wings do something to their baby?**

**He recognizes that for one so rational, these irrational thoughts are starting to make him the tiniest bit crazy. **

"**Do we really need the knob locks on every door?" Morgan asks. "I got locked in the gymnasium for an hour." He reaches out to touch Reid. "It's going to be okay." **

**Reid jerks back. **

**He realizes that Morgan has a good point and proceeds to remove a majority of the child locks. **

**He's decided that there will be plenty of time for baby-proofing once the baby's here.**

**There's a ton to do before the baby gets there. The more work that they have to do to make their house baby-friendly, the less time Reid has to worry about the what-ifs. Work also helps to distract him.**

**He's amazed by how well he's keeping it together. Losing Sadie was by far one of the most difficult things that's ever happened to him. Yet, it hasn't affected him as much as he thought it would.**

**Three months flies by before he can even realize it. **

**Before he knows it, the new baby's due date has come and gone. Two days past the quoted day, Garcia is still heavily pregnant and threatening their child with an eviction notice if something didn't happen. **

**Reid knows that babies are never born on time. Statistics have proven this time and time again. Perhaps this should make him worry more but he's not afraid. This phenomena is so common. **

**Yet, he still manages to panic later that night when her water breaks in a dramatic show in the middle of Aisle 43-B. He can only laugh at the cirumstances.**

**Of course the child of Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia would decide to come in the middle of a warehouse store. Anything to be different...**

**Normal or not, this is it. **

**The baby's on the way.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If you recognize them, I don't own them.

A/N- this was supposed to be a 2 parter but I'm thinking it will be longer. enjoy!

"Can't you go any faster?" Garcia hisses in Morgan's general direction. "Remind me again why we chose a hospital forty-five minutes away from the house."

"We made a mutual decision to give this baby a fresh start- free from Sadie. Not to be cruel to her memory but so this child wouldn't be in her big sister's shadow." Spencer offers Garcia his hand, wincing when she squeezes tightly.

"Pretty Boy, I don't think she meant literally. Do you need me to pull over?"

Reid tries to breathe through his pain. He knows that's it probably one-tenth less than the pain Garcia's going through but either way, it still hurts a lot.

"No. Concentrate on getting to the hospital. I don't want the kid born on the side of the highway." She hisses. "Big pain. Big pain."

Reid tries to remember everything they've learned in Lamaze class. Surprisingly, it's all flown out of his brain. Expert in all- and he can't remember the basics of Lamaze.

It is mildly pitiful.

"Okay, it's over." Garcia exhales slowly. "Think they're around two and a half to three minutes apart." She loosens her grip on Reid's hand and begins rubbing soothing circles around her belly. "Think the squishing's agitating the kid a little. Super active right now." She glares at her belly. "Watch the bladder!"

"Depending on traffic, we're another thirty minutes away." Reid begins to tap a rhythm against the door of the car. "You'll tell us if you think they're coming- won't you?"

Garcia glares at him.

"No, of course not."

Reid bites down on his lip, hard enough to draw blood. This not being nervous thing is harder than he ever thought possible.

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" Morgan's question penetrates the silence around them. It's the question that they hadn't wanted to answer- not wanting to get too attached to their baby if something were to go wrong.

"I go back and forth," Reid admits. "All the old wives' tales point in different directions but a majority of them said it's a girl. I think we might just have to wait and see. Unless you have any insight?" He gestures in Garcia's general direction.

"Why does everyone expect the mother to know? I'm as baffled as you are. From the behavior, I can't make up my mind either way." Garcia rubs gentle circles around her belly. "I want a girl though but really, I don't mind what we get as long as they're healthy and we don't give them a stupid name." She glares at Reid.

"You make one bad suggestion..." Reid throws his arms up in frustration.

"You wanted to name our daughter, Misery," Morgan glances back at his partner through the rearview mirror. "Don't think it gets much worse than that, Pretty Boy."

"It sounded pretty at four in the morning," Reid mutters defensively.

"I'm sorry for poking you," Garcia says, reaching for his hand. She gives it a gentle squeeze. "It's not a bad name- just not right for a baby." She tightens her grip on his hand. "Not again!" She begins to breathe rhythmically.

Through the rear view mirror, Morgan and Reid exchange concerned glances.

Her contractions are getting closer together.

**Xxx**

"We've been relegated to the waiting room," Morgan murmurs, gently trailing his fingers through Reid's hair..

"Only until they get her settled with the epidural, you know she'll let us back in. Remember last time?" Reid rests his head in Morgan's lap. "I think she fears losing control in front of those she loves. Only logical answer I can consider."

They sit in silence.

Reid can't seem to keep his mind off Sadie. She was here so briefly and yet, touched his life so intensely that he was still affected.

It all seems rather peculiar.

"What about the name Carter?" Morgan glances to Reid. "Carter Alyse Morgan. We can call her Cammi."

"Carter Alyse Morgan. Sounds like a banker but I can live with that. I was thinking Charlotte. Maybe Charlotte Alyse? After the spider."

This was the first time that they had allowed themselves to discuss names.

"If we named the kid Charlotte, we could call her Charlie. Charlie Morgan. That's cute." Morgan laughs. "We have two names for a girl."

"What about a boy?"

They pause in deep thought.

"What about Alden James Reid?" Morgan smiles, his fingers lightly dancing on Reid's palm.

"Where'd that come from?"

"That tv over there is playing _Little House on the Prairie. _Plus...remember we talked about this? The girls get my last name. The boy get yours."

"Oh right. I suppose I could live with the name 'Alden'. Let's hope we can get them past Garcia."

"You're with Penelope Garcia, right?" a nurse asks as she approaches them. "She's resting comfortably and you're welcome to go back anytime. I just need to band you both as belonging to her room. It seems silly- I know- but our first priority is protecting the newborns."

Reid holds out his wrist and watches as she attaches a hospital bracelet to him.

He stands, waiting as she attaches an identical bracelet to Morgan's wrist.

"She's in Room 291. Just go through these doors and it's the last door at the end of the hall on the left."

Reid finds himself grasping for Morgan's hand. This is the first time that they've really been in a hospital since the terrible night that they had found Sadie. Even though it's a happy occasion, Reid can't seem to shake the dread in his stomach. Touching his partner is the only thing that seems to be able to calm him.

"Remember the night Sadie was born?" Reid remarks, pausing just beyond Garcia's door.

"How could I forget?" Morgan laughs. "The worst snowstorm DC had ever seen. We barely made it- she had to push in the elevator."

"I never saw you look so scared." Reid's hand falters at the doorknob. "Do you think we can do this? Actually have a baby?"

"We did it once before." Morgan tightly squeezes his hand. "I think we can." The unspoken words lie between them. They both know- It's the elephant in the room. The one question that's been haunting them since they embarked on a second try.

_Would this be the baby to survive? _


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own no one recognizable

A/N- Hope you're enjoying this! Remember- read and review!

**XxX**

"Hello, Lovelies!" Garcia chirps, her face lighting up as they walk in the room. "Did the nurse tell you we have a stubborn baby? For as many contractions as I'm having, I'm only like six centimeters dilated . Plus the head is still high. But on the plus side, I can't feel anything. Oh look, I've having a contraction."

Reid exchanges a look with Morgan. Just how much pain medication have they given her?

"No, I'm not that drugged. Trying to be positive. Not wanting to look as scared as I actually am feeling." Tears fill her eyes. "Really, I'm scared out of my wits. What if I'm the reason that Sadie died? She was half mine- I don't think Derek's half would up and give up." She tightly grips the bar beside the bed .

"I don't think she gave up. Or rather, I'd like to imagine she didn't. Why would any child belonging to the three of us just give up?" Reid squats next to her. "Any kid of ours is lucky. They have me to be paranoid and teach them magic and the random, they have Derek to push them on the swings and to let eat ice cream before dinner and they have a mommy who will teach how to be strong and fabulous." He lightly squeezes her hand.

"You're right." She wipes the tears with her free hand. "I'm just scared."

"We all are," Reid assures her. Gently, he smooths her hair. "I imagine we'll deal with whatever life throws our way but I don't want to think that a loving, merciful God would give us that much pain a second time."

He's not sure where the words are coming from. He's not sure how much he believes but he knows that if this new baby is going to enter the world safely, he needs to keep her calm and focused.

"We have a few names, Baby Girl. For a boy, how do you feel about Alden James Reid?" Morgan pulls a chair up to the bedside.

"Alden James. I like it. We can call him AJ."

"For girls," Reid pulls a chair up to her other side. "We like two. Charlotte Alyse Morgan and Carter Alyse Morgan. If we go with Charlotte, we were wanting to call her Charlie and were thinking Cammi if we went with Carter."

"Both sound good. If it's a girl, I think we should see what she likes. Second babies are supposed to be here faster. Someone forgot to give the kid that memo."

Reid notices a strange sound in the background of the talking.

Slowly, he begins to tap out a strange rhythm. His eyes widen as he realizes what it is.

"Hey, the heart's beating,"

"Hearts tend to do that, Pretty Boy." Morgan smirks. He pauses to listen. "I can't believe that's our kid."

They sit in silence for a few moments, basking in the miracle of the heartbeat.

"Can one of you find out what I'm allowed to have? I need some ice or something." Garcia begins to shiver. "And an extra blanket."

Morgan leaves Reid while he goes off to find the nurse.

"Are you okay?" Reid asks, rubbing Garcia's back. "It's going to be okay. I promise you it'll be okay."

"They warned me this might happen- side effects of the epidural. I think if we do this a third time, the next time's going to be all natural. I think I can handle this all natural next time." She raises the bed to a sitting position. "Do you really think we can co-parent?"

"I don't see why we couldn't. It's all about finding the balance. I'm sure we will work it out." He rests his head against Garcia's shoulder. "We'll figure it out."

"Ready to be checked again?" The nurse appears out of nowhere.

"Do you want me to give you some privacy?" Reid moves to leave but is surprised when Garcia holds him back.

"No, stay with me." The fear is big in her eyes. "Just stay- please."

"Well, you're now at 6 ½ centimeters. The baby appears to be presenting at a zero station so I would say you're progressing nicely. Shouldn't be terribly long." The nurse writes as she speaks. "Your friend should be back with ice chips soon. I'm sorry we can't give you more. I'll ask the doctor if we can give you a little Gatorade."

"Remember the night Sadie was born? Barely got out of the elevator and there she was. This feels so different this time. We were so prepared last time." Garcia sighs. "We don't even know if we're having a boy or a girl. I don't even have a crib at my place. I sold mine after we lost Sadie."

Reid understands her underlying panic. These are the thoughts that have crippled him since the moment he found out she was pregnant. They had wanted to know as little as possible to prevent growing attached if something were to go wrong. Had their thinking been wrong all along?

He knows that he should use words of comfort but instead, he chooses to sit there, just holding her hand.

"I hope you like blue Gatorade." Morgan walks in the room. Just before reaching his chair, he stops. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing. The emotion of the moment caught up to us. We're fine." Reid stands, pecking Morgan on the lips. "We're not prepared. Or rather, we are but not as prepared as we were when we had Sadie."

"When she was born, we had a name. We had hopes. We had dreams. Now, we're just kind of waiting for everything. I don't even have a crib." Garcia's gaze focuses on the monitor. "But on a happy note, I'm progressing slowly. Very slowly." She nibbles on her lip. "Can I have my Gatorade?"

**Xxx**

"Go. I promise I'll page you if anything happens. But right now, it's me and my stubborn cervix. Go! Leave me and my cervix in peace." Garcia points in the direction of the door. "And while you're gone, your baby and I are going to have a serious discussion about being prompt in their arrival."

Reid can't believe how long this is taking. Garcia has been in labor all night and into the morning and somehow, she's only seven and a half centimeters dilated.

"Hospital cafe or that place down the street?" Morgan asks, gripping Reid's hand. "I can't believe it's been sixteen hours. I assumed the kid would be here before we reached this point."

"We all did. Second time mothers tend to deliver much faster than they do when it's their first time." Reid shrugs. "Let's stick to the cafe. I don't want to wander too far- just in case. Who knows? Maybe Garcia's pep talk will get the kid moving."

They dine on bitter hospital-grade coffee and bagels. Somehow, Reid can't bring himself to touch industrialized bacon or reconstituted eggs.

"I think this is the first time in months that it's been us," Morgan comments, taking a long sip of coffee. "Ever since Penn got pregnant, it's been you, me and the kid. For the first time since, it's just us." He grips Reid's hands.

Reid savors the time. He knows that soon, couples-only time will become a rare treat. He needs to enjoy it while they still have it.

"I think we lost touch with why we're partners in the chaos of preparing for the baby. Maybe it all goes back to that fear Garcia was talking about. You can't tell me that losing Sadie didn't almost tear us apart."

This is the first time they've dared to speak about this.

"I never blamed you even though you thought I did. You did everything right. I know you did. You never would have intentionally hurt her." Morgan squeezes his hand.

Reid gulps. Tears form behind his eyes but he blinks them away.

"I don't think it was anything intentional. I just can't remember what happened the last time I held her. Remember I was the one who got the super late feedings? I remember going into the nursery, giving her the bottle and that's all I remember until you found her the next morning. What if I wrapped her too tight? Or forgot to put her on her back to sleep?" He begins to shake.

"You know the coroner said she had been taken care of perfectly. In his expert opinion, it was a freak thing. Sometimes, babies die and we don't know why. That really sucks but it's a fact of life." Morgan blinks back tears. "Spencer, I may not say it a lot but I do love you. And I never blamed you for Sadie." Scooting his chair back, he stands. Using his hands, he pulls Reid to his feet. "I love you. No matter what happens this time, I love you." With that, he kisses him passionately.

"I love you too." Reid stares at the ground. He jumps as he realizes his phone is vibrating. As he fumbles for the device, he watches the color drain from Morgan's face.

"Pretty Boy, I'm pretty sure we want to go NOW."

Reid glances at his screen.

_Get up here NOW. This kid is not waiting for no one!_


	4. Chapter 4

Head On

Disclaimer: I own no one you recognize.

A/N- Hope you enjoy it!

"We're going to miss the birth. Biggest day of our lives and we're going to miss it because we had to eat," Reid rants, repeatedly hitting the elevator button. "Maybe it'd be faster to take the stairs?" He jumps, the elevator doors opening with a loud ding. "Come on!"

"Okay, Spencer. You need to breathe. She could be pushing for hours. If you go in there like this, you're going to freak her out." Morgan holds Reid tight to him. "It'll be absolutely fine."

Reid nods, inhaling slowly. He's really trying not to panic but now that the moment's here, his nerves are trying to get the best of him.

"I think it's best for me to wait in the hall outside the birth room. I'm anxious and I don't want my anxiety to scare Penn. She's been through enough today." The words spill out of Reid. "I know I was there with Sadie but that was different." He sinks into Morgan's arms. "What do you think?"

"Whatever you're comfortable with. I think though- you can be in there if you try to ground your energy. We're all scared."

The elevator door slides open. They dash out, running for the delivery room.

"Are you coming?" Morgan pauses just outside the door, his hand on the knob. "I love you either way."

"I'm coming," Reid murmurs, following Morgan through the door.

"Oh thank God!" Garcia shouts, coming to rest on the bed. "I was beginning to think I was going to do this alone."

"Now, would we do that to you, Baby Girl?" Morgan moves to her side. "Tell me what you need."

Reid squats beside her bed, staring at her directly in the eyes. He's not sure what he's doing but she clearly needs support.

"Just support her!" The midwife exclaims from the foot of the bed. "We're almost there, Penelope. Are you ready to push again? We can sit this contraction out if you need a break."

"I need a break." She inhales, exhales and inhales again, breathing through the contraction. "My epidural wore off a little- they want me to feel the contractions for pushing." She winces, her contraction clearly peaking. "Forty minutes on my side, I dilated the rest of the way. If I had realized a position change was going to speed it up, I'd have done that hours ago. Or maybe my lecture got the kid moving- don't really know." She inhales again.

"This one is just about over," the midwife tells her, reading the monitor. "You're doing super, Penelope."

Reid offers her his hands. She takes them in a tight grip.

"You're very brave," she says, her eyes sparkling. "I think we can do this. I'm starting to see the light. Well, not like I have much choice. The kid's coming whether or not I want them to." She winces.

"Okay, Penelope. Coming into a contraction. Start pushing."

Reid begins to squeeze her hands as she pushes. His gaze connects with Morgan who's standing out of the way just watching. He's dazed, looking like a deer in the headlights.

"We're almost done," he says, easing his grip on her hands. "Almost there." He gestures to Morgan. "We can do this together." He releases one of her hands, allowing Morgan to take it.

"I can see the head. I think the next contraction should do it." The midwife stands momentarily. "You're doing great, Penelope."

"You're doing amazing, Baby Girl." Morgan blinks, clearly trying to keep his composure. Reid squeezes his hand. "I don't know how I'll ever thank you for doing this. Not once but twice..."

"You can get as sappy as you want once the kid's out," Garcia snaps. Reid glances to the monitor, noticing that she's heading into a contraction. "I don't think I can do this."

"You can do this, Penelope. One big push. Deep breath in." The midwife sits again.

"Focus on us. We know you can do this," Reid coaches. "Just focus on us. I know it hurts and you're tired. Squeeze my hand and bring our baby here." He's not sure where he's finding the words but it seems to be helping. "You're so strong."

"Stop pushing. The head's literally right there. I know what I said last time but this time, one push should do it. Your baby's just being a little stubborn." The midwife inhales slowly. "On the next contraction, I want you to give it all that you have and we'll get your baby out."

"I can't do this. I- I can't. I just can't."

"Yes, you can. I know it's hard but you can do this." Reid can tell the midwife is struggling to keep her patience. "We'll let you sit out this next contraction but after this, you need to push, Penelope."

"We believe in you, Baby Girl." Morgan reaches out, lightly caressing her cheek. "You can do this."

"We're all scared, Penn. You're not alone." Reid bites down on his lip. "You're the only one with the power to do this. Get the kid here and we'll help. We can do this."

"I can do this."

"You can."

"Deep breath in. And push."

"Come on, Penn. We have you. Remember squeeze our hands."

"And the head is crowning! Ease up. Okay, the head's out- your baby has a lot of hair. Little push. Here are the shoulders. Half out. And we have a baby!" The midwife continues to talk but all Reid can focus on are her final words.

_We have a baby. _

The room goes silent as their baby lets out one very loud, very angry wail.

"What kind of baby is it?" Garcia asks through her tears. "Come on, Lady. We've been waiting nine months."

"It's a girl. A very angry baby girl. Well, hello, Princess,"The midwife says, suctioning the baby's airways. "Would one of you dads like to cut the cord?" She holds out a pair of curved scissors.

"You do it," Morgan gestures to Reid.

Shaking slightly, Reid accepts the scissors. He looks to the midwife for directions.

"Just cut between the clamps. It's going to be a little tricky so be prepared."

He cuts the baby's umbilical cord with relative ease. The midwife sets the baby on Garcia's stomach.

"Look what we made, Penn!" Morgan beams. "A beautiful baby girl."

"Hello, my precious baby girl. You're so little!" Garcia coos, reaching out to touch the baby with a trembling finger. "We've been waiting for you."

"What's her APGAR?" Reid can't keep his mind off the numbers.

"Well, I'd say her one minute APGAR is a nine. That's very, very good." The midwife says, rubbing the baby with a towel. "She's beautiful."

"Yes, she is," Garcia sniffles, bringing the baby close to her. "Hello, Little One. You have no idea how happy your daddies and I are that you're finally here. We've been wishing for you since we lost your big sister. Oh look, you have your papa's eyes..." She gasps softly. "She knows my voice. I bet she's going to be smart like her daddy. I don't really see any me in you but I still love you."

"She has your lungs." Reid hesitates before lightly touching her with one finger. He pulls back. "She's beautiful. I can't believe she's finally here."

"I don't think any of us can. Look at you! You look like your sister. I think you might be bigger though."

"You did all the work but can I hold her?" Morgan asks. "And don't say she's my daughter- I don't have to ask. I don't want to take her from you."

Reid takes a step back. As he watches his partner hold their baby for the first time, he's suddenly overwhelmed with an onslaught of emotion. This is the first time since Sadie that he's been near a baby this young. A sob catches in his throat but he manages to swallow it.

"Do you want to hold her?" Morgan faces Reid.

"I can wait until the nurses are done. I'd hate to get in the way." Reid isn't sure if he's ready to hold her.

"Oh no, you're absolutely fine. We encourage bonding as soon as the baby's born," a nurse chimes in. "You can't break her- she's not as fragile as she looks."

Reid doesn't have a choice.

"Let me sit down." He sits in the first chair he sees- a mahogany rocking chair.

"It's hard," Morgan whispers, placing the baby in Reid's arms. "This is the first time I've held a baby since the morning we lost Sadie. We can do this though. The three of us together are going to raise one kickass daughter."

"Well, hello Baby Girl Morgan. You need a name but I'm assuming we'll work on that once your Mama's cleaned up and resting. I'm your daddy in case you didn't know. You have two daddies and a mommy and we all love you very much. So glad you're a girl. You don't look like an Alden." Slowly, he rocks, the runners of the chair squeaking ever so slightly. "Welcome to the world."

_The last time I held a baby was the night Sadie died, _he thinks. _I gave her a bottle and she was still fussy. So, I stripped her to her diaper and kangarooed her til she fell asleep. I held her for a bit and probably would have held her all night if we hadn't had that early morning appointment but I had to put her down. _

Tears fill his eyes. As much as he tries to keep calm, it's near impossible. He tightens his grip on the baby.

"Spencer?" Morgan turns. A look of concern blankets his face. "What is it?"

"I remember now. The night Sadie died. She was fussy. Fussier than usual. So I stripped her to her diaper and kangarooed her. She settled against my heart and fell asleep. I was tempted to hold her but we had to be out of the house early so against my better judgment, I put her in her crib. I figured she would be fine and you wanted to break her of the habit of sleeping on me because she was going to be going to daycare soon." The words fall out of him. "I told her I loved her and then walked away." He blinks, tears blurring his vision.

"What happened to her would have happened no matter what. At least she passed, knowing she was loved. I can't promise you that it won't happen this time but I can tell you that this isn't Sadie. We can't live in fear." Morgan eases the baby from Reid. "The nurse needs to finish cleaning her up. I'm not taking her because you're upset."

Free from the baby, Reid tries to stop crying. He soon finds Morgan leading him from the hospital room by the hand. Before he realizes what's going on, he's outside the hospital.

Morgan stops, sits on a bench and pats the spot next to him.

As Reid sits next to him, he's surprised when Morgan seizes him in his arms. The shock of it all makes him stop crying.

"Sorry about that. It just hit me. Holding her brought me back to Sadie and I just remembered." Reid wipes his eyes, settling against his partner. "We're dads again, aren't we?"

"That we are. To a nameless baby girl. We just needed some air. I expected it to be emotional- just not quite this emotional." Morgan sighs. "Oh look, it's raining."

"Rain on the day of a wedding is considered good luck. I wonder what it means if it rains on the day of your birth." Reid inhales slowly. "Should we go back upstairs and name her?"

Morgan nods.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: You recognize them, I don't own them.

A/N- Enjoy. Please Read and Review!

"Hi." Garcia lifts her head as they walk in. "Look at this kid. Thirty minutes old and eating like a champ." She gestures to the baby who was noisily nursing. "There's probably not much in there but she's doing it."

"Wow." Those are the only words Reid can find.

"On another note, Boys, we were having a discussion. She doesn't like the sound of "The Kid Morgan". I tried to tell her it was cute but she's insisting on a real name. Side note again- could one of you take her so I can put the boob back in? I think she's done."

"You really do have your papa's eyes, don't you?" Reid is taken back to find the baby looking at him as he takes her from Garcia. She seems to know him. "So, you don't like 'The Kid'." He sits at the edge of the hospital bed. "Well, you're definitely going to be a Morgan. We know this. How are we going to decide?" Reid looks from Morgan to Garcia.

"Well, Kid, you have a choice." Morgan sits across from Reid.

"Carter Amelie." Garcia smiles wistfully. "I know we agreed on Carter Alyse but I do love the name 'Amelie'. I can't tell you how many times I've watched that movie. And it flows so well."

"So, we have Carter Amelie or Charlotte Amelie." Morgan smiles. "So, if you want your name to be Carter, do something." They wait for a few seconds but it quickly becomes obvious the baby isn't doing anything. "If you want to be Charlotte, do something." The baby squawks ever so softly.

"I think we have a winner. Charlotte Amelie Morgan." Saying her full name feels right to Reid. "Can we call you Charlie?" The baby begins to cry. "I'll take that as a yes." He shifts her to his other side. "Well, hello, Charlie. It feels so good to call you by name."

"She'll still be the kid to me. Side note- should we call people? I had a bunch of missed calls from people and I think they might begin to think I'm dead." Garcia leans back in bed. "Can I hold Charlie? I know she's fine but I've missed being able to hold a baby." The words cause a painful look to cross her briefly.

"Of course." Reid places the baby in her arms. "It feels so strange to have a baby to hold again. She's so perfect though. What was her birth weight?"

"The midwife said she was six pounds, nine ounces. So small but not super tiny. And she's long. Nineteen inches. God, she's beautiful. Charlie, have we told you you're beautiful?" She loosens her hospital gown. "Considering what you both just saw, I don't care how much skin you see." She struggles with the gown before accepting help from Morgan. "The midwife was recommending kangaroo care for her. It worked for Sadie and I want Charlie to have the same opportunities." She glances up. "So not used to this. Can one of you unwrap her for me?"

"Did you call your mom?" Reid asks.

"Not yet. I barely called Rossi. He's spreading the word to the team and I'm sure they'll be visiting but I want to hold off for as long as I can. Let it just be the four of us."

Reid glances at him discouragingly.

"Fine. I'll step outside and call her." Morgan rolls his eyes, heading for the door. "You're lucky I love you, Pretty Boy."

Reid sits beside the hospital bed. He watches the tender way Garcia holds Charlie against her chest with the hospital gown over her just enough to keep her warm.

"I know it's silly. I wasn't this attached when Sadie was born but I also expected that we'd have a full life with her. Six months just wasn't enough time..." Her voice drifts off. "God, I'm going to make myself cry again. Sorry." She sniffles.

"You're perfectly fine. The grief is normal." He bites down on his lip. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Considering I just pushed a six pound baby out of my who-ha, surprisingly well. I was in way more pain after Sadie's birth. Now I'm sore but comfortable." Garcia yawns. "I can't believe she's here. I mean... she's been real for the past ten months but now, she's here and she's perfect and I can't believe she's ours."

**XxX**

"Are you sure you don't mind staying?" Morgan asks. "I could come back once I get Mom back to the house. You don't need to stay here alone."

"Derek, go, Reid and I will be absolutely fine. Your mom deserves your attention. I'm pretty sure she's still crying." Garcia shoos him towards the door. "If anything changes with Charlie, we'll call you but I'm pretty sure it's going to be boring. Just me, Spencer and the kid that can't decide if she's hungry or not. Oh and sushi. I'm allowing myself one post-birth treat. And I want sushi."

"Go." Reid kisses Morgan. "I love you."

"Love you too, Pretty Boy. Take care of both of them, Baby Girl." Morgan gently hugs Garcia.

"Which Baby Girl are you talking to?" she asks, smirking.

"Both of you." He reluctantly moves to the door. "I hate to leave." Then, he walks out. "I love you all three of you."

"So, it's you, me and the kid. I probably could have gone home tonight if I had really wanted to but I think we all need a day to settle down. Plus I love Derek but all I can think about is how his mom had to practically have Sadie wrenched from her. I really don't want to give Charlie up to anyone. Does that make me selfish?"

"I don't think so. You're allowed to (for the first day at least)." Reid leans back in the chair. "Are you as scared as I am?"

"You have no idea. I keep thinking that I'll wake up and find out it was all a dream. That the last two years have just been this crazy nightmare." Garcia glances towards the bassinet. "Is she sleeping?"

"Yes. Do you want to hold her...?" Reid stands. "I can go grab her."

"No, let her sleep. Bad idea to wake a sleeping baby. Remember Sadie? Once she got woken up, she'd fight us to go back to sleep." Garcia sighs. "Thanks for staying, Spence. I can't thank you enough. I hate hospitals."

"Morgan promised you that we'd never leave you alone in a hospital. He keeps his promises." Reid squeezes her hand.

"When did he promise me this? I feel like this is something I would remember." Garcia returns the squeeze.

"After you got shot before you woke up. He promised to never leave you alone in a hospital and he keeps to his promises."

The baby begins to fuss.

"Do you mind handing her to me?"Garcia asks. "You can kangaroo her after I nurse her. I'm determined to get this breast-feeding thing right this time." She holds her arms out.

"Shh, Charlie. We're going to make sure you get fed." Reid scoops her up. "Shhh. You're going to Mama right now." Lovingly, he places her in Garcia's arms. "Something tells me she's going to be our little drama queen."

"She had to get something from me," Garcia quips, attempting to get the baby to latch on. "Come on, Lady. I know you can do this." She visibly relaxes. "I swear the first few latches are nerve-wracking. I just want to give her the best start."

"Don't we all?" Reid sits back down.

They sit in silence, taking in the sound of their baby girl noisily feeding.

"Okay, I think she's done." Garcia sighs, pulling her close. "I can't believe how utterly in love I am. She's perfect."

Reid moves his shirt, preparing to take her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I have to learn to let her go." Garcia eases Charlie into Reid's arms. Tears fill her eyes as she quickly blinks them back. "Sorry. Remembering the last time I handed a baby to you. It was just after Sadie..."

He remembered.

"Hey, Pretty Girl. You're going to try Daddy." He looks down as he cradles her to his chest. Their eyes connect. Her big brown eyes seem to know him. "I used to do this with your big sister. It always helped her to sleep." He rubs circles around her back. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit scared, especially after we lost your sister. But I promise you that no matter what happens, I will always love you." He swallows a sob. "You are our world, Little One."


	6. Chapter 6

Head On

Part 6

Disclaimer: You recognize them, I don't own them

**XXX**

"Do you really think we should take her home?" Garcia anxiously asks, snapping the crotch of Charlie's bodysuit closed. "I mean- we can stay one more day. Keep her here. Where there are doctors and nurses and ways for her to be safe." She picks the baby up, pressing Charlie against her shoulder. "I trust you….it's just that…"

"The world outside is scary." Reid manages to finish her sentence. "Oh, I think we have to. Fran might kill us if we keep her baby here any longer than possible." He squats to grab the car seat carrier and places it on the bed. "It's going to be fine. I don't know how I know but I do know it will be fine."

"I hope so." Garcia sets the baby down in the carrier. "Okay, let me see if I can remember how to do this. "

Reid catches a glimpse of her baby bodysuit.

"Worth the wait," he says, reading it out loud. "That's sweet. Reminds me of what Sadie was wearing the night she passed."

Strangely, on the night Sadie had died, she had been wearing a bodysuit that said "Handle with Care". It seemed strange to her grieving parents but her dads were men of science and her mom just didn't know what to think.

"I bought it from the same website," Garcia admits. "It was cute and true. It was either this one or "I'm a miracle" but I figure that we can save that one for another time." She pokes Reid in the side. "Did I strap her in correctly?"

"Her chest strap needs to be a little bit more up but I can fix it." He fixes her car seat straps. "I suppose it's time to take her home." He sighs.

XxX

"We're sitting in a rest stop parking lot, Ma." Reid hears Morgan talking from across the parking lot. "Well, Penn needed to feed her. Yes, we'll be back on the road soon." The annoyance radiates off of him.

"I think Morgan might kill us for forcing him to tell his mother that Charlie had arrived," Reid quips. "How's she doing?"

"Well, she latched. It's just a matter of keeping her on here for as long as she needs to. I so don't remember this being so hard." Garcia stares into the distance. "I have the feeling you are very, very right."

Morgan stomps over to them.

"Mom wants me to tell you that she's trying to keep the pot roast moist. I didn't have the heart to tell her that you're a semi-vegan pescatarian," He gestures to Garcia. "And that Pretty Boy only eats chicken, turkey and fish. I think she's trying."

"Oh I don't doubt that." Reid stretches. "We'll be fine. How long could she possibly stay for?" He sighs. "I have nothing against your mother, Derek. She just makes it difficult to settle Charlie into a routine. "

He can tell that they are all tense. Bringing Charlie home is a pretty big deal, especially after all that had happened with Sadie.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder how they were going to make it through the next eighteen years, especially if they were having such a hard time getting through the first day home.

"She's beautiful. I can't believe she's ours." Garcia eases her into her car seat. "I think she just wanted a snack." She sighs, smoothing the blanket over her body. "I'm afraid. More than I was before. This could all be gone so fast."

"We're going to be afraid but we can't let that fear rule our lives. Charlie isn't Sadie. The chances of _that _happening again are slim." Reid lovingly strokes the baby's foot. "She's so perfect."

Reid tries to take in the miracle of that little foot. He's not sure that he believes in God but he knows that their baby is a miracle and maybe…just maybe…. A higher power had something to do with that.


End file.
